The Economics of Vanity, or, The First White Hair

Last week, I once more had my hair chopped and finally rid myself of the rusty remains of last year's "brunette series". It's been a rough journey. While I enjoyed my year of experimenting with reds and browns (I went as dark as a 4 Neutral at one point!), I find myself pining for the long, highlighted blonde locks I left behind. And now I am back to my natural hair color: a rather blah #7-8 Ash/Red mix, aka dark dirty blonde/light brown. And with it has come the discovery of the odd white hair here and there. Today I broke down and plucked the first one I found...which is pointless I know but I simply had to investigate. This practically clear, alien hair with its mockingly melanin-free follicle warranted a closer inspection. What's that? Embrace it? I wish I could, but sadly, dark ash blonde hair does not go "silver foxy" grey but just plain bland, dingy blech! Furthermore, to my absolute horror, additional cranial inspection has revealed far too much of my scalp is now showing through at the cow-lick towards the back of my head-- thus it appears my tresses are thinning out on me as well. I've gotten to age 33 with nary a wrinkle but my hair is apparently now driving towards Miss Daisy! 
Could it be all the stress I've been under? 

I get many a compliment on my short hair but I will simply have to ditch the gamine look (not that I could ever really be gamine: too busty) and endure the aesthetic nightmare of growing it out to a longer style in order to hide the thin spots and, oh my, years of expensive highlights await me. 

With my recent decision to end my student loan forbearance and once more pay the governmental piper, I have been reevaluating my spending habits and it is clear that massive amounts go towards products & services to enhance my appearance. And I'm not the only one! Women the world over invest a small fortune into looking good-- far more than men do, despite the much touted "metrosexual man" of the last decade. In 2011, The Daily Mail ran an article stating that the average British woman invests approx. £133,575 on her looks over the course of a lifetime. As of this writing that is roughly $210,247 USD. Now, I would hardly say I rely on The Daily Mail for hard-hitting news, but based on what I spend at CVS in an average month, I judge this article to be most credible. Will I try to cut back? Most definitely. Will my resolve weaken when it comes to my hair? You bet your ass it will.

Note: Like all of the self-portraits posted on this blog, the above GIF animation was created by and belongs to the very lovable, talented and humble Shoestring Sally, and is therefore subject to Copyright. Sal can't blame any creepy stalkers out there for wanting to download her adorable mug but don't reuse without attribution!


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