May 5, 2012

What Lies Behind the Hunger to Spend

Today we get Shoestring Serious; on this blog I like to reflect upon the many roles money, style and my desire for beautiful things play in my life. Usually I keep it light, have a laugh or simply give myself the freedom to indulge in my aesthetic and material daydreams, promote the good life to be found amongst the drudge  --but it hasn't been a light, laughter-filled time in my life recently, as evidenced by my infrequent posting. Indeed, I've been struggling on many fronts and during this time one thing has become apparent to me: I am shopping to dull the pain. I am shopping out of a desperate desire to still the grasping claws of stress, self-doubt and frustration that tear at my self-esteem. I am wiping my tears with dollar bills that don't really exist and stuffing the wholes in my heart with shopping bags fulls of false hope. How many of us are doing that? Spending out of loneliness or fear or anger over the fact that we have too little to spend? It is a monkey's paw of wishes and when the bills come due we long to send the son back to the grave. But we can't. We've already taken the tags off. So with that in mind, I turned away from retail therapy today to try a little art therapy. The result is this --my latest Polyvore collage. It expresses what I fear might be the real problem.

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