Aug 23, 2012

Shoestring Sucks: Psychic Vampires Attack!

Yes, yes I know. I have been ignoring you my darling readers --off making hay while the summer sun shines, my revels dampened by only occasional demi-sincere twinges of guilt: "Um, I really should update the blog, huh?" There's so much beauty and creativity in the world to write about, too, but have I done so? No! Instead I have given you the Shoestring silent treatment lo these many weeks only to trudge back now with a tale of woe and two arms reaching out for comfort, like a former-BFF that ditched you for a man. But brother, can you spare some time? I wouldn't ask you for a dime in this economy, but, hmm, then again when you factor in opportunity cost...

Watch out, Wilma! The Vorvon attacks!
I loved the show Buck Rogers as a kid,
but this energy-draining vampire freaked
me out big time. 
Now what has got me so down today? Let's just say I got sucked dry by a Psychic Vampire, or rather Psychic Vampire Subtype B: The Insecurity Instigator. You know those people that miraculously drain your energy just by being negative and catty and pushing those buttons on your blazer that stir up fear and self judgment? Such a vamp attack is usually couched in overly-solicitous niceness & overtures of false friendship. I bumped into one of these Instigators today --someone I had not seen in awhile but who, out of necessity, I once had to spend a great deal of time with. I fell for the vamp's trap and before you know it my self-esteem was drained, its lifeblood swapped out with venomous self doubt. And hours later I still feel a heavy black energy just sitting in my chest not wanting to move. Perhaps I am especially vulnerable to such an attack now because, well, maybe because I'm getting stronger? I'm more dissatisfied with  my current state of affairs than ever before but in a way that makes me more determined to change things. Many times I've shared with you my frustrations of where I am and where I might be heading in life, but now I feel more resolve to do something about it. And getting stronger really pisses Insecurity Instigators off because they thrive on knocking people, undeservedly, down a peg or two to make themselves feel better. It is hard to shake it off, but moving forward I think I will need to be more vigilant in "armoring" myself against such attacks, and keeping myself aware that when it comes to certain acquaintances of mine, it's not me --it's them.

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